All right all right. Good morning Trace. How we feeling this morning. How is everybody doing. Everybody doing all right.

Incredibly grateful to have each of you that are in this room with us. Also those that are watching or listening online, thanks for joining our Trace community via the internet.

And I want to celebrate something with you really quick. If you have been coming to Trace for a few weeks at least, you probably heard us talk about doing a special Easter offering last week. And that offering was going specifically to helping as many kids go to camp this summer as possible. And we kind of prefaced that with this idea and this notion that man, kids just went through an incredibly difficult season. And our students just went through an incredibly difficult year. And if there were ever a year to try to get as many kids as possible to camp, to connect with other students, connect with other kids, but most importantly connecting to Christ, because we believe camps cultivate life changing Christ likeness, this is the year to do that.

And so what we wanted to do is do a special offering where all of that money was going to make sure that finances were not going to be a deterrent at all for any kid or any family that wanted to go to camp. And I am here to celebrate with you that we raised over fourteen thousand dollars to do that. So thank you. Thank you.

Well today we are kicking off a new series called Church Hurt. And if you ask me this is long overdue. And I want to appeal to you right now and let you know that if there were ever a series that we were doing where I would want to encourage you to make sure that you hear all three sermons in the series, it is going to be this one. In other words, if you were to just hear today’s sermon and not hear the next two, you would potentially walk away with an incomplete perspective, thinking like well why did they not mention this or why was not that brought up. And so I want you to commit to either being here every Sunday or making sure that you watch online. You can get on our YouTube page and do it that way. It is probably the easiest way to do that. Because we want you to come away with a complete perspective when it comes to this church hurt conversation that we desperately need to have, if you ask me.

Now I want to go ahead and take this moment to recognize that there are probably some people with us today that are here with a little bit of reluctance. Like you came here because somebody cared enough about you to invite you. You came here because somebody knew that you had a story. That you had a story that maybe involved some church hurt. And maybe that hurt is pretty deep. And it left a wound that has caused you to be reluctant of places like this. Like if you were to be honest today, maybe some of you would say you know what I have actually been pretty intentional to stay away from places like this and listening to people like me.

And if you are here today and that represents you at all, I want to let you know thank you. Thank you for taking another chance. Thank you for being courageous enough this morning to come and to give it another shot. And by no means have you arrived in a perfect church, but we are working incredibly hard. Incredibly hard. To make sure that this is a safe place where you can stop pretending. A place where you can truly come and wrestle with your doubts if you need to. If you need to wrestle with God, we want to create a space here. If you need to belong for a little while before you even believe, we want to give you a space to do that. And so I want to let you know that we know you are here, and I want you to know that this series, honestly, it is for you guys.

We started this church about four and a half years ago with a hope. Of course, you know if you ever start a church, if any church has ever started, it should be with the number one motivation of reaching people who do not know Jesus. But our second motivation was to reach people that still loved Jesus but were done with the church. Because at some point their story was given this moment, this kind of pivotal moment in time, where something happened. Something happened. And maybe for you it was like the early part of your church going experience, when you were a kid and with your family. Maybe something happened that was over the course of many years that you experienced that caused you to just be like you know what, I do not think this is worth it anymore. Or maybe for you it was just one incident. And that was enough. Because that incident left you leaving wondering man how much should I actually believe out of what I have been told over the last so many years of my life.

Because I was taught things about God. I was shown things about God in the Bible. And so therefore I had some expectations of what I thought people in places of spiritual position and authority, I thought I had an expectation of what I was going to receive from them. But I experienced something completely different. And now you walked away thinking can I actually believe that any of this is legit.

And I want to let you know if that is part of your story, I am glad you are here. And let me go a step further. If I experienced what some of you have experienced, if I have experienced what some of you watching or listening to this online have experienced, I probably want to stay away from places like this and listen to people like me as well. I just want you to know that if I experienced what some of you have possibly experienced, I probably have a hard time understanding or believing if all of this is actually legit.

And I do not think I would do this conversation. Let me say it differently. I think I would be remiss if I did not mention that as a church we probably caused some church hurt along the way as well. I think I would be unfair to the conversation if I did not admit that at some point I am sure our church has probably caused some church hurt in other people’s lives. Listen, wherever there is people there is problems. Amen.

And I want to share something that John Piper said that I think sums it up really well. He said one guarantee of committing to any local church is that sooner or later it will hurt. Whether it involves low level disappointments, fallout from scandal, or the ravages of civil war, the local church will always leave us aching for something better.

And even though, and unfortunately even though this is so common in the church today, it does not make it okay. And it does not make it right. And for me to get up here and just say I am sorry, it does not feel like enough.

You see this position that I sit in has afforded me the opportunity over the years to be on the other side of a lot of coffee tables. On the other side of a lot of conversations where I have sat and I have listened and I have heard my fair share of people’s hurts, habits, and hang ups. But I have also heard horrific stories of what people have experienced in church. And what people have experienced from people that sit in my seat. And sometimes I feel so helpless. I feel so helpless in what I could possibly do to bring any healing into their life. And so honestly sometimes all I know to do or all I feel like I can do is drop my head and shake it and then just look at them and say it is not supposed to be this way. It is not supposed to be this way.

Stories of betrayal from leaders that you thought you could trust. Most of the time they are men in positions of spiritual authority. I have heard stories of sexual abuse from leaders, sexual misconduct, sexual advances that youth pastors have made on students. And if that story represents anyone in this room today or watching, I am sorry. It is not supposed to be this way.

Maybe you felt dismissed or completely disregarded or downgraded because you were a woman. Or maybe because you were not white. And if that is the story of anyone in here, I am sorry. It is not supposed to be this way.

Maybe for you, you made a mistake and you knew it was a mistake. It was a big mistake. You made a pretty big compromise. You made a concession. You ended up doing something. It was a pretty big failure. And so you decided you needed to talk to somebody at church about it. And so you went and you confessed. And you were expecting some accountability, because we should expect accountability when we have allowed a sin struggle to take place in our life. So we should expect some accountability. But what you were not expecting was the deep level of condemnation and the lack of grace that was extended, or not extended, in your direction. And so if that is a part of your story I want to let you know that I am sorry. It is not supposed to be, it is not supposed to be that way.

Maybe for you, you had a problem that was physical. Maybe it was a mental illness. Maybe it was a relational problem. And you were told that it is your fault and if you just had enough faith that you could fix the problem. And so because you could not fix the problem means you did not have enough faith. And so you walked away feeling like there was something wrong with you. It is not supposed to be that way.

Still others, maybe you grew up in a very charismatic or sometimes even a crazymatic environment, right, and you had this pressure put on you to kind of live out this hyper spiritualized life. And you felt like if I do not do this, if I do not perform, if I do not speak in tongues, if I do not do these other things, then I feel like I am a lesser than Christian. And so you found yourself performing a lot, and you did not necessarily see your faith grow, you just felt like you were being more fake. It is not supposed to be that way.

Maybe there is somebody in here or watching online and you finally owned up to the fact that you were gay or you had same sex attraction. And so you wanted to kind of process that through with somebody in a position of spiritual leadership or authority. And so you went to a church, or the church that you were a part of, and you tried to process that with them. And instead of that person sitting down to listen to you and to hear you out and hear what was going on inside of you, they just said no listen listen you need to pray the gay away. And if you do not, like there is no place for you here. And so maybe you left more confused and hurt and misunderstood than when you even came to have that conversation. It is not supposed to be that way.

Many years ago, when I was still working in a health club, I invited a couple to come to the church that I was a part of. It was a huge church, about ten thousand people. I invited this couple to come to church with me. And they were not really church going people. And the only reason I think they came is out of respect for me. And for what it is worth I would never hesitate to extend invitations for people to come to church because even if they are not church going people maybe they will come out of respect for you.

But they came. And again big church, ten thousand people. They came to church with me one Sunday. I met them there and they sat in a row in front of me. And as they are sitting there and as the guy gets up to preach, it was not the lead pastor preaching that day, it was actually the teaching pastor. And I knew him. I had worked out with him a few times and stuff. So I had somewhat of a friendship with him. And man, the whole time this couple that I had invited, they are a dating couple, they were not married, and they are just talking the whole time. And I am like frustrated. I am getting, I am like man why do you not listen. Like why are you talking the whole time. And I was like I remember just being so frustrated with them.

And then the next day this couple actually, not the couple, the guy comes and finds me at the gym. I am working and he comes and finds me and he says hey Aaron I do not want to start any problems. I do not want to, you know, get involved in some big mess. But I feel like I need to tell you something. I am like man yeah whatever. What is going on. He said the girl that I am dating that came with me, she said that she had been out on a date with the guy that was preaching. And I am like what are you talking about. No no that is Brad. And he goes no I know. She told me his name. She told me the day they went on a date, where they went out on a date and it was not that long ago. And I said no it could not have been Brad. Brad is married. He has got a kid.

And so I called Brad up and I said hey Brad will you come and meet with me. Can we just talk through this. Actually I did not say it that way. Let me back up. I called him and I said hey will you meet with me. I want to talk to you about something. He said what do you want to talk about. And I said just come meet with me and we will go from there. And he came. And I confronted him on what I had heard because it seemed believable. And he denied it but I could tell he was lying. And it came out a little bit later that Brad was having multiple affairs with divorced women in the church.

It is possible that there is going to be somebody watching or somebody that is going to listen to this sermon and they are like Aaron I do not know if this is helpful. Like I do not know if you need to give everybody else a bunch of excuses to kind of like bash on the church. I do not know if this is helpful. But listen to me. That sentiment is the problem. The fact that we have tried to cover these things up, the fact that we have tried to act like they do not exist, the fact that we try to, you know, just make the church look like it is perfect when it is not.

And by no means am I saying that the people that have had moral failures, made big mistakes in the church, I do not think they are evil. And I still believe that God can use them and has used them to do incredible things for His kingdom. And I am not dismissing them and I am not acting like we need to just throw stones because I promise you that is not what I am saying. But what I am saying, listen to me, is that we can do better. Let me say it differently. We must do better.

And I know that begins with people like me. Because unfortunately a lot of the church hurt stories that exist in this room and a lot of the church hurt stories from people that will be watching this maybe later because somebody sends this to you, they come on the other side of somebody in my position not being held accountable.

I mean guys I will be honest with you. If I wanted to, this position can be used very easily to spiritually manipulate and get my way. If I wanted to, if I was an unhealthy person. You know I mentioned last week that one of the number one questions that I ask myself over and over is what was your motivation for doing that Aaron. When you said that what was your motivation. Was that in pure motivation. Were your motivations healthy when you said that, when you did that. And that is one of the litmus tests that I make sure I keep in front of me to make sure that I do not get sideways, to make sure that I am not abusing the position that God has given me. But I want to let you know this position is easy. I mean I can easily use this to abuse, to spiritually abuse people and to hold my authority over people if I wanted to.

I mean I could even use Scripture. I could go to Hebrews chapter 13 and say have confidence. Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy and not a burden. You guys do not want to be a burden on me right. For that would be of no benefit to you. Watch. I am a spiritual leader in your life. I have got spiritual authority over you. So you need to do what I say so that my work for God that I am doing can be joyful. Can you see how quickly, I mean I could give you so many verses, can you see how quickly that somebody in my position could actually use this position and leverage this position for the sake of their own spirit, not even spiritual, but for their own agenda. And spiritual abuse begins to take root.

Now let me be clear. I would like this job to be somewhat joyful. I mean I do not want any of you to make my life a living hell. Let us be clear. But that is not why I signed up. I promise you, you will make a lot more money somewhere else if that is what I was in this for. But no, I am here because God called me to be here. And I want you to know the Jesus that saved my life. That is why I am here.

In her book Seductive Poison, Deborah Layton said something, and if you are not familiar with the Jonestown story of just incredible spiritual abuse and manipulation to the point that they were convincing people to take their own lives, you should probably look that up on the internet later just to see how deep spiritual abuse can go if it is not held in account. But she said this in her book. When our own thoughts are forbidden, when our questions are not allowed and our doubts are punished, when contacts and friendships outside of the organization are censored, we are being abused for an end that never justifies its meaning.

Guys, spiritual abuse is a real problem in the church. And some of you have experienced it. Some of you have shared stories with me. And you truly, like you would say you came out of a cult. Where what I just read, like you experienced that. Some of you shared some stories on my Facebook feed that were just heart wrenching to read.

A spiritually abusive group might claim that they are God’s sole channel of communication and that they alone are the only ones that can rightly interpret God’s Word. And so they may claim that salvation depends on belonging to their church, and that since God speaks through them alone, there can be no further discussion on what the leaders say. Just submit. Or the leaders might point to God’s anointing on their life and on their work, and they prove that by increased baptisms or church attendance. So how dare you question them. Some of you may know somebody in a church right now that this is their reality and maybe you need to send this sermon to them later.

Another thing that I see happen unfortunately where there begins to be a root of spiritual abuse is when there is kind of the anointed man of God. I call this the man of God syndrome. Where it is like there is the holy man of God and he is the man of God, the holy one, and people start to kind of make these unhealthy devotions to them and concessions are made. And it is like but he is the man of God and he is the one that brings us God’s Word and it just kind of gets sick and it starts getting weird. And you just have to be careful with that.

And so I even challenge when I meet with other pastors all the time I am like man hey you are not the man of God. There is only one man of God. His name is Jesus. And we need to do our best to represent Him but we are not the man of God. Hopefully we can become men of God collectively as we are pursuing Jesus. But there is no man of God. And when that seed takes root I promise you you are going to at some point find yourself on the other end of spiritual abuse.

Listen. Let me be clear. Do you, or should you, respect people in this position, in my position. Yes. I mean do I want your respect. Yes. Do I feel appreciated when somebody lets me know that God is using me to speak and to preach in such a way that it is making an impact in your life and in your faith. Absolutely. I feel incredibly honored and valued every time somebody shares that with me. Am I thankful for the private jet that takes me where I want to go whenever I want to go. You better believe it. I have never even ridden first class. I do think it is healthy to honor people in this position. And I almost hate even saying that because it sounds self serving. So whether you are in this church or whether you go to another church, I think it is healthy to honor people. I want to honor you. I want to honor my wife. Hopefully the honor is just a part of our culture. Amen. We want to honor people. But we are only devoted to one. We are only devoted, we are only loyal to Christ.

Because Jesus is the head of the church. I want to show you something that Paul says when he writes to the church in Ephesus in Ephesians chapter 1. He says this. I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe in Him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated Him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. Now He, Jesus, is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else, not only in this world but also in the world to come. God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made Him head over all things for the benefit of the church.

And I would guess that the mass majority of church hurt stories, and the mass of stories, and the mass majority of where church hurt happens is when Jesus no longer is the main focus. And instead it is usually a man. Or maybe a spiritual hierarchy.

If you ever wondered, if you ever wonder why I share my jacked up story so much. It is not because I enjoy it, I promise you. Last week during Easter I shared some of my story and I shared some things that I had never shared before. And what you do not know is that my twelve year old, my ten year old, and my seven year old were in here to hear that. I have had to have conversations with them a lot earlier than I wish I would have. But the reason I keep sharing that story is because it humbles me, but it also gives other people hope. The reason I keep sharing that story is because it points to the one man that can change your life. And it is not me.

And so if you are here today and you have got a story that is following you, maybe it is a church hurt story, maybe it is just a story that is jacked up like mine, I want to let you know that God can save your life too. That He can change your life too. His name is Jesus. And no matter how jacked up your life is, He is willing to meet you in the midst of your hurts and habits and hang ups. Listen to me. All of them. He is willing to meet you right in the middle of your church hurt story if need be and begin that healing process with you. If there is ever going to be healing that takes place within your story, it is only going to come through Him. He knows better than anyone how church experiences and how Christians, even people represented in this room, have left you feeling unsure and uncertain if this is something that you even want to do anymore.

Jesus knows better than anyone. Just based on what we were talking about last week during the resurrection. After they brought Him off that cross, He had no more friends. He had no more followers. They all ran. They betrayed Him. I do not even know if I would say they betrayed Him, they just abandoned Him because they no longer believed. And so Jesus understands better than anyone that the biggest wounds are left where trust is betrayed the most.

And as much as I hate to admit it, the church may always leave you desiring more. And as determined as I am to be the best pastor that I can be, to love you in the best way that I know how, and to pastor this church, I am going to leave you disappointed at times. I have no doubt. And as much as Christians should be living out the message of love, way too often that message is lost a lot of times in legalism.

Maybe that is why Jesus says come to me. Maybe that is why Jesus says listen, I know all these other things, as much as I want them to represent who I am, as much as I want them to show you the love that I came to offer, as much as I want them to represent the mercy and the grace that is renewed every morning for your life, it is not always going to happen that way. And so maybe that is why Jesus says come to me. Come to me all who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest.

Jesus says come to me with your wounds and your worries and your weariness because I want to show you a better way. Jesus says come to me with your regrets and your shame and your guilt because I have got enough grace to cover it all. Jesus says come to me with your hope, with your hopelessness, with your hurt, and right now for some of you even your hesitation. Because He desires to bring healing into your life just like He did with my friend Matt. Check out this story.

I was raised in church. The church culture and things that I grew up in, it was really kind of like my family’s identity. But when I was in junior high that whole church structure fell apart. And when it did a lot of leaders came out as, there was of course, there were financial issues, sexual and adultery issues that came up. And I had also been abused in that church during that time.

I started going to a church on my own and my freshman year we went to, I went to my first summer camp. And in this camp I just had this really awesome experience with God. And that just was kind of like the spark that started this bonfire of me being a very obnoxious Christian as a teenager.

Right after high school I decided that I was going to go into ministry type thing. The church that I had been a part of brought me on staff really fast. It was about two and a half years in and I just started to decline. Behind the scenes I just saw a lot of things. That the church was more and more becoming more of an industry than a family of God. And so I wrote a letter of resignation. I resigned from the church. And they came back and they were like hey, you know, we are sorry. You definitely should have mentorship in your life and you know we are going to fix it. Do not resign. Things will get better type thing.

I kind of was paired up with the head of our counseling center. One night he had me over and made a pretty aggressive pass at me. So I actually, next day, told leadership what had happened. And then I got an email saying that they accepted my resignation. You know good luck in life.

So I was walking around the mall one day and I joined the Marine Corps. Right after the Marine Corps I got a job. I was in Charlottesville Virginia for thirteen years. Tried to get involved in church and be involved with church and for some reason I would always end up leaving. It is just like you know I cannot, I cannot do this again. So you know after that time I kind of came out of it and I was like God I really, I just do not want to be here anymore. It is like I cannot fit into this thing called the church.

I was deployed to Afghanistan and I came back and out of nowhere I got a job offer to come to Colorado Springs. I prayed about it. The more God was just kind of leaning my heart I really felt like it was something I was supposed to do. And so I got online and I was like all right God I am going to give this another try. And I searched for church plants. I find the orchard site and I find Trace. So I started listening online and Aaron was saying a lot of things that I always said that if I ever found a church that I could be a part of. You cannot hide and heal at the same time. This is a place where you can stop pretending.

Being a part of the church again did have a lot of caution to it. But over that time God really just started to break down all the layers of life that I had kind of laid over all that hurt that I never dealt with. And literally after I just surrendered that to Him it was just like this weight kind of just lifted off my life.

So I think if you are looking for this place that is going to be pain free it is not going to exist. It starts with that one step of yeah, just trust. Trust in Him.

Can we give it up for Matt.

It is your new story. Do not give up on the church. And you have probably got good reason to, some of you. But I want to challenge you in this. If we follow the same logic. If we were to follow the same logic on why we have decided to give up on the church, and maybe somebody is watching and this is your story, if we follow the same logic of why we are giving up on the church, then you should probably give up on your spouse. Because they are not going to follow through with everything that they said they were going to on your wedding day. You should probably get rid of your kids. I mean there is a commandment that says honor your father and mother. Some of you guys like is that possible now. But how well are they following through on honoring their father and mother. Maybe you should get rid of every friend you have ever had because somebody is going to betray you. Maybe you should give up on the school system because the teachers are not always going to do everything they say they are going to do for your kids.

But the church. It was God’s plan to reach a lost world. Is she ugly sometimes. Yeah she is. And I cannot control what all the other churches outside of this place do. But I promise you I am devoted and I am working tirelessly to make sure that this is a healthy place starting from the top. And so I want to invite you, if there is anybody in here today and that is part of your story, and again maybe you are here with some reluctance. Would you try again.

I have got three steps for you today and they go like this. First one, if you have got a story that you have never shared with somebody else I want to encourage you to tell someone. Because sometimes the beginning of you finding some healing in your life is just getting some of that crap out. And so I want to encourage you to tell someone. If it is a deep wound that you are not sure if you could just trust with just any person maybe it needs to be with a counselor. Listen to me. I will pay for the first counseling session. Just let me know who you are. I will pay for the first counseling session.

The second thing I would do is to take a step. Take a step in the direction of God once again. Maybe it is just showing up next week. That is it. Just coming and showing up next week and being a part of this community just one more time. Maybe that is your step.

And then I would encourage you to trust again. Would you consider trusting again. And listen, I have never turned anyone down who wanted to sit down and have a conversation with me. And I have literally had people sit down and look at me and say are you healthy. And I knew where that was coming from because they have been in places like this and they have been on the other side of people like me who are not healthy.

I am going to pray for us right now and then we are going to enter into a time of response and I will set that up. Let me go ahead and pray for us.

Father thank You for today. Thank You for this morning. Thank You for all the people that You have allowed to come and to be a part of this conversation. I know that it does not stop here because there will be people that watch this later. There will be people in this room that start to email friends and to message friends and say hey I need you to watch this sermon because I think it is going to be of benefit to you. And so God would You just exponentially use this conversation to begin the healing process in so many.

God this is so far beyond me. Sometimes my words feel so empty. But I believe in Your power. I believe in what Your Son can do. And so God my prayer today is that if there is an obstacle because of a church hurt story, because of a previous experience, God would You remove that obstacle today so people can get to Jesus. Pray this in His name. Amen.

Right now we are going to enter into a time, we call it a response time. And the main focus of this time is for those of us who have put our trust in Jesus and allowed Him to be the leader and Lord of our life. We are going to celebrate that by experiencing something called communion. And around the room you are going to see some crosses or back in the back you will see a couple tables, but at those crosses there are tables that have some cups on them. And in those cups is some juice and a little wafer. And the juice represents the blood of Jesus that was spilled out for the forgiveness of our sins. And that little wafer represents the body of Christ that was given up for us.

And because that story is not just a story but because resurrection power actually exists, I promise you that regardless of how your story reads, regardless of what your church hurt story is, God can still redeem it if you will give Him a chance.

So for those of us that have already made that decision we are going to celebrate with communion. For those of you in here that have never made that decision and you are still unsure, I would encourage you to sit in your seat and process through some of this. Think about this. Maybe pray for the first time. Maybe you have not prayed in a long time. But if you are ready to make Jesus the leader and Lord of your life there is a little card in the seat back pocket in front of you. I would just humbly ask that you would fill out your name and let us know that you would like to have a conversation about that.

And today we are actually going to get to celebrate here in a few moments after our response time two people that have made that decision. We are getting ready to witness two baptisms today. And so yeah you can give it up for that.

If you want to write out your church hurt story and you just kind of want to get it out, we have also got some prayer tables in the back. If you want to go write out some of your hurt, some of your pain, we want to invite you to do that. And I promise you all those will be prayed over this week.

I am going to pray for us right now and then I am going to encourage you to respond however you feel led.

God we pray for Your Holy Spirit to move powerfully in this moment. To remove obstacles or break down barriers. To break chains if necessary for people that maybe have given up hope in the past. God that You would breathe hope back into their life in this moment. That You would remind them that yes even though Christians have failed them, even though the church has failed them, You will never fail them. And so God would You move powerfully. And we trust that You will. We pray this in Christ’s name. Everybody said amen.